The Golden Globes seemed to have gotten tamer and tamer over the years, and this show was no exception. The intro was fun and light-hearted and the kids from Stranger Things owned it (with Kit Harrington turning in a solid second place performance as clueless guy sleeping in the limo. And Tina Fey. And JT. Ok, I guess the opening had a lot of highlights).
I don’t watch Fallon’s show, but let’s just say he clearly does not come from a school of improv, based on his lackluster stall while waiting for the teleprompter to be fixed (I mean, don’t get me wrong, that literally sounds like a host’s ACTUAL worst nightmare, but a comedian seems equipped to cover it a touch better than he did). He then apparently hid in his dressing room for the rest of the night, since I barely remember seeing him after the opening act.
Before we get to the good stuff (the clothes), my own Golden Globes Awards:
Best Reverse Aging: Brad Pitt (runner up – Tim Olyphant, who now looks younger than he did in Deadwood). Brad Pitt has been involved in a custody battle that somehow involves the FBI, yet apparently losing custody of 8 kids (or however many they have – I can’t keep track) makes you look TEN TO FIFTEEN YEARS YOUNGER. Go figure.
Most Terrifying Facial Hair: Chris Pine, doing a spot on impression of Teen Wolf.
Celebrity Turning into Another Celebrity: Casey Affleck has become the (technically impossible) love child of Joaquin Phoenix and Jared Leto. Just, startling.
Most Unnecessary Award Sharing: Ryan Gosling, sharing his award with Emma Stone and Damian Chazelle, who FUCKING WON THEIR OWN AWARDS, SO THERE. (I mean, I love Gosling, don’t get me wrong).
Most Factually Accurate International Statement: “Ryan Gosling, like all the nicest people, is Canadian.” – Meryl Streep.
OK onto the good stuff – the dresses. Overall, I was underwhelmed. I didn’t think there were a lot of clear OMG AMAZING dresses, nor (sadly) a lot of “WTF IS SHE WEARING?” dresses either. Let’s hope the Oscars serve up something better.
Kristen Bell: The best of the Plunging Black Dress phenomenon. Just the right amount of sparkle, the right amount of skin. This look is sometimes hard to pull off when you are short, but she looked phenomenal.
Mandy Moore: Another really good showing for the PBD, but a little more romantic than most of the other sleek and sexy PBDs.
Blake Lively: Blake Lively is a fashion queen, and she RARELY gets it wrong on the red carpet. Her black and gold number was relatively simple but different enough that it stood out from the crowd.
Emma Stone: There’s something a bit overt about an ingénue wearing stars on her dress when she’s up for an award for a movie called La La Land, but other than that I thought it was very cute and very on trend with the silver (So. Much. Silver).
Anette Bening and Sarah Paulson – Both wore high necked, long sleeved silver tone dresses and both looked really great – bonus to Annette Bening who looks like a fun hang, based on her dynamite red carpet smile. She’s literally GRINNING.
Carrie Underwood: I loved this dress, although I’ve seen it on some Worst Dressed lists. My astute husband pointed out it looks like a horse head is draped around her neck, but hey, she’s from Oklahoma.
Kristen Wiig: No stranger to wearing really unusual dresses to award shows. I liked this dress a lot, and it’s incredibly hard to pull off, but I think if you’re K-Wiig you can and she did.
Thandie Newton – The trifecta: trendy look (exposed shoulders) plus some metallic (bronze hem) plus an unexpected dress color (white).
Zoe Saldana: The best of the “girly pink with bows” trend (See Claire Foy, Felicity Jones). I love the tone on tone pinks and the bow is not over the top. Also, not a lot of ruffled dresses so this one felt different and eye-catching.
Reese Witherspoon: This is more a top to bottom look, versus a best dressed. Her hair, makeup, jewelry and dress are just perfectly combined. Especially on a night of some shitty makeup.
Best Trend: Sleek silver. It was like a sea of fishes in that joint.
Worst Trend: Sleeves with open shoulders. Pointless and probably really hard to actually lift your arms past about 45 degrees.
Kerry Washington: Matador jacket shoulders, random appliques and an ankle length hemline which I just DESPISE. Oh, and on second look – some bonafide black grannypant style underwear.
Nicole Kidman: I blame this dress on Keith Urban. It was within his ability to rip the sleeves off before she left the house, via a small, completely unintentional “accidental” trip n’ grab. And yet he didn’t.
Sarah Jessica Parker– SJP wears ballgowns. It’s what she does. At the Golden Globes, she wore a tablecloth, with two napkins for sleeves. A rare miss-step.
Jessica Chastain: Jessica and I do not see eye to eye on fashion. I don’t know if I ever have liked one of her award season gowns. From the appliques, to the horrible neckline, this dress is just a giant Fail.
Sophie Turner: Looks like a dance troupe costume crossed with a deconstructed tuxedo. At least she looks like she is owning the look.
Natalie Portman: Sorry, pregos don’t get a pass from me. My biggest problem with this dress is the color, which I don’t think looks good on her. And then to have it be SO MUCH FABRIC. As a strapless dress, I think this would have worked.
Felicity Jones: I hate this dress. It’s like someone took a magic marker and drew on the details.
On the Fence:
Jessica Biel – I like that it is different, but the bodice feels like there is just TOO much missing.
Hailee Steinfeld. Again with the sleeves. This dress would be on my Best Dressed list, if those sleeves went bye-bye. Points for the color though.
Claire Foy: Another dress that is probably divisive – it’s a LOT of pink sparkle, but on a night of silver sparkle, it stood out. And she’s British and her acceptance speech made her sound really likeable and sort of Adele 2.0. Seems like it might be better in person, than in photos.
Color of the Night: Silver. Runner-up: Black (preferably with a J-Lo esque plunge)