Sister Sesh and I have been plotting our attack plan for the Neiman Marcus +Target Present Holiday24 (yeah, I’m not typing that out again) for a week. We have had strategy sessions that have lasted longer than an Obama-Romney debate. We settled on going to the local Target, meeting at 6:30am. We picked Target over the local Neiman Marcus because we are both VERY familiar with the Target store layout, they have carts (take that, NM!), and there were no free coffee/cookies/donuts, like some of the Neimans were doing. Plus, we figured all the Bellevue Betties would be at NM and they have way more money than either one of us and would be more likely to clean out the shelves.
After agonizing (were we going to the right store?!), I set my alarm for 5:48am (I insisted on getting one more minute of sleep over a normal work day), put on my running shoes (visions of things getting ugly) and ended up zipping into the Target parking lot at about 6:20am. There were a bunch of cars in the lot, but no one was standing next to the giant “FRONT OF LINE STARTS HERE” sign, so I drove over to Starbucks to meet Sister Sesh. Fortified, we headed back to Target. Keep in mind, while I have done the Jason Wu for Target thing, Sister Sesh is a designer collaboration sale virgin.
As we pull back into the Target parking lot, I tell her to park so that we are facing the entrance, so we can wait in the car until people start lining up. She proceeds to park facing away from the front and next to a white Hummer. My sister has literally managed to park in the worst possible spot in the entire lot, less than 10 seconds after I told her where to park. The Hummer is completely obscuring our view of where people are supposed to queue up. If I turn around and crane my neck, I can watch the front doors of the store.
So we’re now sitting in The Wagon in front of Target at 6:30am, in the pitch dark. I keep telling her people will show up (“there will be people in line by 7:00am, I guarantee it.”). 7:00am arrives. Again, there are no people. We entertain ourselves by guessing which cars the night staff will go to, who are trickling out of the store. The night staff at Target are an interesting bunch. Let’s just say they don’t have to wear red polos and khakis. A few look like mountain men. And meth addicts (hey, I said “look,” not “are”). One guy emerges and I say to Sister Sesh, who can’t see the entrance, “Man, that guy lit up a cigarette the minute he stepped out of the door.” I’ve barely finished my sentence when she firmly states, “Datsun.” I’m like “He’s walking towards us…ok…he’s approaching… ok… shit… shit… I think you’re right…he’s going to… he’s going to….THE DATSUN WITH THE SLOW WHEEL!” This game continued, sprinkled in with me announcing the arrival of every vehicle into the Target parking lot, which is a surprising amount considering it’s not even 7:30am. There are workers arriving (they all park in the choice spots, by the way). There are an INSANE amount of people arriving who think the store is open (I mean, this Target was definitely missing out on some business). There are no Holiday24 crazies arriving.
We tell ourselves everyone went to Neiman. We cover all matter of topics, from Covert Affairs, to shopping strategies but steadfastly avoid talking about all the sleep we could have gotten without sacrificing a good spot in line. Finally, at about 7:35am, a carload arrives with two women and some kids (who brings their toddlers to something like this??? Clearly someone who did not experience Missoni Madness). Five minutes later, a Mini Cooper drives up and a man and woman get out, who I am positive think the store is open and desperately need something like…cold medicine (I mean, she is wearing plaid flannel sleep pants), but instead we have Our First Shoppers (to not hide in their car, like us).
Now that there is someone officially in line, and I don’t have to be That Person at the Front of the Line (loser!), I jump out of the car screaming “I’m going! I’m going!” and speed walk to the front of the store, so I can be That Second Person in Line. Needless to say, this starts a trend, and anyone who has been hiding in their cars, roll out and form the (pretty sad actually) line of about ten people. By the time the doors open there is, at most, twenty people in line, including some woman who is dressed to the nines who asks why we’re standing in line and claims she “didn’t know the sale was today” even though I SWEAR I saw her at Wu.
We head in, grab a cart and go straight for the Lela Rose top. My immediate impression: it looks much different in person (more of a coffee-toned liner). I grab a Robert Rodriguez georgette chiffon blouse (which looked better in person). In true “designer collab” fashion, I take two sizes just in case. I grab the Tracy Reese dessert plates and a Marc Jacobs gunmetal gray pouch. My arms are overflowing so I dump stuff in my cart and consider the Thom Browne blazer. I throw in a Rodarte ornament. Sister Sesh and I look around and realize there are maybe all of 25 people (maybe) leisurely looking at stuff and picking up a few items. There is no grabbing (except for yours truly). There is no elbowing. There is no breathless hovering. In fact, I’m comfortable enough to leave my cart full of goods left unattended (this would NEVER have happened during Wu, when girls were accusing other girls of stealing shit).
We try stuff on. The Lela Rose top, which was my number one priority item, makes me look as flat as a 14 year old boy. The Thom Browne blazer is way too nautical (this, coming from a girl who WORKS IN THE YACHTING INDUSTRY). The Robert Rodriguez top is good, though. It feels well constructed, the material feels high end (ok, maybe mid-end) and it’s very on trend. Some would say it is a bit clown-ish, but ruffles are popular right now, and the shirt is pretty flattering (although the buttons at the neckline are really annoying; I think I bruised my trachea trying to unbutton them).
We review our cart. There are three sets of Tracy Reese dessert plates, that we agonize over for ourselves and for gifts. We decide the Marc Jacobs pouch is way too awkwardly sized… too big to really carry as an evening purse… and too small to carry as an every day purse. Back to the shelves they go. We each grab the Marc Jacobs scarf, an item I had absolutely not wanted going into this event (I have a lot of scarves). Into the cart they go. The Rodarte ornament…$20 for an ornament seems ridiculous. So back to the shelf IT goes. We ooh and ahh and covet the Tracy Reese plates but in the end we decide we don’t eat enough dessert (hahahahaha. kidding. as if) to justify them and back to the shelf THEY go. Defying any sort of logic, we both decide to buy matching Marc Jacobs scarves. They’re super soft, a wool-cashmere blend, and something you can wear with almost anything since they’re black.
So it all started with a whimper and well…ended with one, too. To summarize:
Time Spent in Car: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Time Spent in Line: Less than 15 minutes
Items Bought: Two. The Marc Jacobs scarf and the Robert Rodriguez top.
Sleep Lost: 1 hour, 13 minutes
Money Spent: Less than $170
The Good: My scarf and blouse, the plates, the Brian Atwood gloves, the Caroline Herrera travel pouches, the Tory Burch coffee thermos, the Rag and Bone men’s sweater (which I saw a girl wearing online…looked really cute), and the best item in the ENTIRE collection… the white Marchesa kid’s dress, which would be perfect for a flower girl (also, the only item that looked picked through, by the time we left).
The Bad: The suitcase (small, weird fabric), the Brian Atwood sunglasses (hello clearance section), the Oscar de La Renta tote (I have no idea why people liked this bag…it looked chintzy and just…completely out of season)
The Inexplicably Ugly: The Prabal Gurang evening bag, that LITERALLY looked like something you would buy at Wet Seal, and the Skaist Taylor furry hat (however, it is apparently for kids, whereas I thought it was for adults. Which explains things. A bit).
Things that Seemed Stupidly Overpriced: The Judith Leiber compacts, the Eddie Borgo accent box (which was TINY)
What I Hope to Buy Once it Goes on Sale: The Proenza Schouler sweatshirt, the Oscar de La Renta pet bowl