2016 Golden Globes Best and Worst Dressed

I didn’t get to immerse myself into the Golden Globes as much as I usually do, but I still can’t resist putting together a quick Best and Worst Dressed. I actually thought this year’s event didn’t have a lot of highs and lows…Most people looked really good, with a lot of safe choices (and hey, there’s nothing wrong with that – after all you’re very likely going to be seen by millions of people, many of whom are judgy internet people like moi).

Golden Globes Best Dressed: 

  1. Jennifer Lopez. All hail the queen. I’m an unabashed JLo fan, and I thought she owned the night in her yellow caped number. This is not a dress you can pull off without the right skin tone, the right body and the right attitude (few caped numbers are, frankly). Loved everything about it (maybe she can tell the people on Shades of Blue to get her a better hairstyle):

    Jennifer Lopez
    Lady in Cape, Looking Fierce.
  2. Jennifer Lawrence. The Jennifer L crew was doing well last night. I loved J Law’s dress as much as I loved J Low’s dress, but I give the edge to Low since the color is more daring (Low vs Law…not at all confusing). Jennifer is looking more like a thin starlet these days, but oh well – at least she’s not wearing that tampon dress.

    Surprisingly icy, for being so red on red.
    Surprisingly icy, for being so red on red.
  3. Brie Larson. We’ve hit number three and I’m already losing passion for these dresses but I liked her fun, different take on the gold sheath. I mean, is it earth-shattering? No. Is is pretty and does she look lovely in it? Yes.

    She's a touch slouchy, but she just looks so nice. Like a nice person. Remember, nice people get bonus points.
    She’s a touch slouchy, but she just looks so nice. Like a nice person. Remember, nice people get bonus points.
  4. Lily James. I liked this dress more in photos then I did on the telecast, but I thought she pulled of white very well (on a night where there was not a lot of white). Some probably think it’s too sweet or boring, but it feels like it fits her image very well.

    So gauzy. So, so gauzy.
    So gauzy. So, so gauzy.
  5. Jenna Dewan Tatum. This dress is teetering – with a few more folds of fabric it could end up as a total nightmare, but I like the color and the grandiose look on a night where the ballgown seemed to be otherwise out of fashion. Also, how many ballgowns have a neckline that practically reaches your navel?

    This makes me think of the ocean. And those geodes you see, cut in half. The only time the word "geode" has appeared in a Golden Globes blog, I'd guess.
    This makes me think of the ocean. And those geodes you see, cut in half. The only time the word “geode” has appeared in a Golden Globes blog, I’d guess.

And now we go to the Worst Dressed…

Worst Dressed Ladies at the 2016 Golden Globes:

  1. Kate Hudson. She was one of my best dressed in 2015, but sorry, I hate this trifecta dress with a passion. I actually exclaimed out loud when she walked on stage. It’s like, peach, with sequins and a neck brace. It’s just wrong on every level. And don’t get me wrong, she looks great. Like, she is gorgeous and has an amazing body and yay her for being able to show off her abs at a black tie event. I get it. However, that dress makes me think of three shiny band-aids, applied at will.

    It's legit possible I had this same outfit for one of my Barbies in the 90s.
    It’s legit possible I had this same outfit for one of my Barbies in the 90s.
  2. Emilia Clarke. Mother of god. What possessed you to wear this? It’s rare everything is wrong, but unfortunately this dress hits all the wrong notes: wrong color (on her), wrong style, wrong shape. Although if you ditch the weird cape thing (see? Capes. They’re almost always a bad thing) and the turtleneck neckline (I repeat, she is wearing a turtleneck-bodice to the Golden Globes)… it could have been a beautiful dress.

    "And death followed with her."
    “And death followed with her.”
  3. Cate Blanchett. Yes, this will appear on some of the high fashion best dressed lists, but for those non-haute couture people out there… I think we can mostly agree a pink fringed lampshade is just not particularly the thing. Or maybe I’m just anti-pink.

    Go ahead fashionistas, pretend you love this lampshade number that awkwardly defines her lady parts.
    Go ahead fashionistas, pretend you love this lampshade number that awkwardly defines her lady parts.
  4. Jane Fonda. Someone get to her and pull those ruffles off before they KILL HER.  Also, someone get me a fro-yo cone. Stat.

    golden-globes-2016-jane-fonda
    If you just got rid of all that ruffle nonsense, this could be a very decent long sleeve sheath dress. RUFFLES, BEGONE!
  5. Amy Schumer. It pains me to put her on this list, but her dress does not fit well, and is not flattering. Simple as that. It’s just an overwhelming disaster of a color block ballgown. I hope she goes to the Oscars and does better. WE ALL WANT HER TO DO BETTER. Also, burn those shoes.

    The general shape and structure of this gown reminds me of a 1990s prom gown, with a more avant garde hem and train. Also, people, do not pose with your hands in pockets, unless you want to look like you HAVE NO GOD DAMN HANDS.
    The general shape and structure of this gown reminds me of a 1990s prom gown, with a more avant garde hem and train. Also, people, do not pose with your hands in pockets, unless you want to look like you HAVE NO GOD DAMN HANDS.
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